Strategy isn’t about being cold. The best strategists understand people deeply, including what scares them.

Good strategy runs on accurate pictures of people, and you cannot get those while treating them as obstacles. Knowing what somebody is frightened of, proud of or exhausted by explains their decisions far better than assuming pure self-interest. Coldness actually blinds you, because it stops you asking why. Understanding people and caring about them turn out to need the same equipment.

Pick somebody you are stuck with: a coach, a parent, a teammate, a manager. Work out what they are worried about rather than what they want. Then make your next request in a way that answers the worry.