Decide what you’ll say no to before the offer shows up. Pressure can’t bend a decision already made.

Deciding in the moment means deciding with all the pressure included: the person in front of you, the car waiting, everybody watching. Deciding beforehand moves the choice to a calm afternoon where you can think clearly, and then the moment only has to carry the saying, not the choosing. Pressure cannot bend what is already settled.

Write down two or three things you have already decided you will not do, and the plain sentence you will use. No explanation is required, and offering one usually just starts a negotiation you had already finished.