Resolution requires both sides to stop editing themselves into the hero.

Both accounts have been quietly edited. Your version leaves out the tone you used; theirs leaves out what they knew at the time. Neither is lying, and until each of you admits the part that does not flatter you, the two stories cannot be reconciled.

Go first. Say the thing you have been leaving out of your own telling. It is uncomfortable and it gives the other person permission to do the same, which is often all that was needed.