Good chess players ask “what does my opponent want?” before every move. Most people only ask what they want.

Looking only at your own plan means playing against a board instead of a person. Half of what decides the game is on the other side, and it is available to you simply by asking what they are trying to do, which almost nobody does because their own idea is more interesting. Their plan is information sitting in plain sight.

Before your next move in anything, a game, a negotiation, a difficult message, spend ten seconds on what the other person wants out of this. Then ask whether your plan survives them getting it.