Regulars at a restaurant remember the server who knew their order. Being remembered is mostly paying attention.

Being remembered looks like charm and is mostly attention. The server who knows the order noticed something and kept it, which is a small act of effort repeated, and it lands as warmth because so few people bother. There is nothing natural or performative about it. It is just paying attention on purpose.

Pick two people at work or school and remember one real detail about each: a sibling’s name, a team they follow, the test they were dreading. Ask about it next week. That single question is most of what people mean by someone being good with people.