A wall can survive long after the argument that built it becomes embarrassing.

Walls outlast their reasons. Something gets built in a moment of fear, division, or expedience, and long after everyone is embarrassed by the argument, the structure is still there dividing people, because taking things down requires an active decision that nobody ever quite makes.

The same is true of rules, roles, and family arrangements. Look for the things in your own life that were set up to solve a problem that no longer exists. Removing one takes deliberate effort, since inertia will keep it standing indefinitely if you leave it alone.