You may remember being overlooked more clearly than the occasions when you overlooked others.

Being overlooked leaves a mark and overlooking someone leaves almost none. You were there for one and merely present for the other, so the ledger you carry is heavily weighted toward what was done to you. Everyone’s is, which means most people are walking around with an accurate record of their own hurts and a very partial one of their effects.

Assume you have caused versions of the thing you most remember being on the receiving end of. Not as guilt, as arithmetic. If someone comes to mind, a short acknowledgment now costs you very little and may be sitting heavily somewhere else.