A memory of safety can depend on dangers somebody else kept out of your awareness.

A calm childhood is often an achievement rather than a circumstance. Somebody absorbed the money worry, managed the difficult relative, kept the news at the door, and did it well enough that you experienced the house as simply safe. The safety was real and it was produced, at a cost that was deliberately kept out of your view.

If you can, ask the people who raised you what they were handling in a particular year. The answers tend to reframe a lot. And if you are doing that work now for someone, it is worth knowing that the invisibility is the point and that it is genuinely hard.