Sometimes you want the choice to exist more than you want to make it.

Having the option can matter more than exercising it. The open door, the escape route, the possibility of leaving, does the work of making the present bearable, and you may never intend to walk through it. That is not cowardice, it is a real function, and it explains why losing an option you never used can hurt.

If you are fighting for a choice, ask whether you want to make it or want it available. Both are legitimate and they call for different things. Knowing which you want stops you from mistaking an unused option for a failure.