The question what do you do asks for a livelihood and often receives an identity.

It is a question about income and it gets answered with a self. People say what they are rather than what they do for money, because the culture has made the two interchangeable, and then anyone between jobs, retired, or caring for someone has no easy answer to an ordinary question. The framing does real damage to people it was not aimed at.

Try asking what someone is interested in, or what has taken up their time lately. It is a better question and it opens more. And when you are asked, you are allowed to answer with something other than a job title.