A scheduled celebration asks emotion to arrive at a particular hour.

Scheduled celebrations ask feelings to be punctual, and feelings are not. You can build the right day, invite the right people, and still find that the appropriate emotion did not appear, or appeared two days later in an empty kitchen. The event can be organised; the interior response cannot be, and pretending otherwise makes people perform rather than feel.

Go to the gathering for the people rather than for the state you are supposed to reach. If joy does not come on cue, let the day be pleasant instead of meaningful, which is enough. And keep some room afterwards for whatever arrives late, since that is often where the real thing shows up.