A difficult anniversary may begin long before the date appears on anyone else’s calendar.

The body often knows before the mind does. Weeks out, the light changes or the weather turns the way it turned then, and something heavy arrives without a name attached to it. By the time the date itself comes, you may already be tired from carrying it, while everyone around you is only just remembering. There is nothing wrong with you for starting early; anticipation is part of how loss works.

If a season is approaching that you know is hard, give yourself more room in it than seems necessary. Tell one person the run-up is difficult too, so the care does not all arrive on a single day.