A person’s good manners should not make their discomfort easier to ignore.

Politeness is a habit, and for many people it runs strongest exactly when they are least comfortable. Someone will say they are fine while the chair hurts, the room is too loud, the food is wrong, or the visit has gone on an hour too long. Their composure is not consent, and treating it as agreement means the best mannered people get served worst. Easy to overlook is not the same as absent.

Watch the body rather than the answer: the shifting, the coat kept on, the sudden quiet. Offer a specific change instead of asking whether everything is all right.