The decision becomes clearer when you separate what you want from what you want people to think.

Two questions usually get answered as one. There is what would actually suit your life, and there is what would look like a good decision to the people whose opinion you carry around, and the second is often louder because it is easier to picture. Once they are tangled, no amount of thinking helps.

Write both answers down separately: what you would choose if nobody would ever know, and what you would choose if you were only being watched. Look at the gap. That gap is the actual decision, and naming whose opinion is in the second column often takes most of its power away.