Feeling stupid in front of an object is usually a design outcome, not a personal failing. Controls that give no feedback, labels that describe the mechanism instead of the task, a setting buried three menus deep: each of those hands the confusion to the person and calls it user error. Good things teach you as you use them, and let you recover from a wrong move.

When something baffles you, notice that the difficulty is in the object before concluding anything about yourself. If you set things up for others, watch someone use it without helping. Then fix the moment where they paused, since that pause is the report.