You can regret a decision and still respect the person who made it with what they knew then.

Hindsight arrives with information the earlier version of you did not have, and it is unfair to try that person in a court they could never have attended. Regret is a judgment about an outcome. Respect is a judgment about a process. Those are two different verdicts, and holding both keeps you honest without turning you cruel.

When an old decision surfaces, try separating the two questions on purpose. Ask what you actually knew at the time, what you were afraid of, and what you were trying to protect. If the reasoning was sound with the facts available, let the regret be about the result and stop charging interest on the person.