A shared standard belongs in the conversation before it belongs in the complaint.

Rules that were never agreed on still produce genuine grievances, and that is where a lot of household and workplace friction begins. You have a picture of how things should be done, the other person has theirs, and neither gets stated until one of them is violated. By then the discussion is about a failure rather than about a preference, and defensiveness arrives before the actual subject does. Agreements made calmly are cheap; the same one made in irritation costs far more.

Name one standard you have been enforcing silently and raise it as a question this week. Ask what they expected, before telling them what you did.