Force and truth are separate qualities that frequently get confused. Delivered sharply, a criticism sounds decisive, and the sting gets mistaken for insight by both people involved. Yet the content of an observation is unchanged by its volume, and a harsh version of a wrong idea is still wrong. Severity mostly buys attention while making the point harder to examine.

When something you are about to say carries an edge, take the edge off and see whether the claim still stands. If it does, it will land better, and if it does not, you have saved yourself.