A new acquaintance should not have to explain every personal detail your curiosity notices.

Noticing something is not the same as being owed an account of it. A scar, an accent, a ring or its absence, a name people mispronounce: each is visible, and each may sit on top of a story the person tells only when they choose to. Asking early puts them in the position of performing intimacy or seeming guarded. Curiosity is yours to manage rather than theirs to satisfy.

When you notice something about somebody new, hold the question and let time make it appropriate. Talk about what they are doing instead, and let them decide what else to bring.