A celebration should fit the people involved better than it fits a photograph.

Occasions can be designed for the people in them or for the record of them. Those two designs pull in different directions: one wants long stretches of ordinary talk and an early finish, the other wants a venue, a schedule, and everyone facing the right way. The record outlives the day, which is why it quietly takes over the planning.

Before the next celebration, ask the person at the center what they would actually enjoy and take that answer seriously, even when it is smaller than expected. Then plan for the room rather than the camera.