Do not turn someone’s loss into a lesson before they have had room to feel it.

Meaning arrives to comfort the person who is watching. Turning a loss into a lesson gives the observer somewhere to stand, and asks the grieving person to accept that what happened was somehow useful. Very often nothing was gained and there is nothing to be learned. Whatever understanding eventually comes has to be found by them, and much later.

Stay with what actually happened rather than what it might mean. Say that it is unfair, or that you are sorry, and let the sentence end there. If they start looking for meaning themselves, follow rather than lead, and be ready for them to change their mind about it.