A vivid incident gets told repeatedly and becomes the account, while the steady thing that actually shaped events is too dull to narrate. Families do this, and so do workplaces and countries. The memorable event is real, and it usually happened because of the pattern rather than the other way round. Explanation and anecdote compete, and the anecdote generally wins because it is easier to carry.

When you catch yourself explaining something with the same story again, ask what was happening in the ordinary weeks around it. That is less interesting to tell and considerably more useful to know.