A private kindness can remain complete without becoming material for your account of yourself.

A good act does not need an audience to have happened. The trouble is that telling it converts it into something else: evidence, a small argument for the kind of person you are, and the person you helped becomes a character in that argument without agreeing to it. Kindness that stays private keeps its whole shape. Nothing is lost by leaving it unmentioned, though it can feel that way at first.

Do one thing this week that nobody will hear about, including the people closest to you. Noticing how much you want to mention it is part of the exercise, and letting the want pass is the rest.