Inheritance includes ways of reacting that no document ever lists.

Along with whatever is written down, you were given a set of responses. How your family handled anger, money worries, illness, an unexpected knock at the door: you absorbed all of it before you were old enough to consider whether it was wise. These reactions feel like your personality because they arrived that early. Most of them were useful once, in circumstances that no longer apply to your life.

Watch what you do automatically the next time something goes wrong, and ask where you first saw it done. You are not obliged to keep every response you were handed, and noticing one is most of the work of changing it.