A reputation for kindness can make the people harmed by someone feel unusually alone.

General good repute is a difficult thing to be harmed against. When somebody is widely regarded as generous or gentle, the person who experienced something else is left holding an account that contradicts everyone’s daily evidence, and they often decide in advance that nobody will believe them. Reputation proves very little, since most people are kind to most people and the exceptions happen in private. The isolation that follows is one of the real injuries.

If someone tells you something that does not match your picture, hold both for a while rather than defending the picture. Listening without arbitrating is usually the help being asked for.