The question directed at the companion can make the person concerned feel quietly erased.

Speaking past someone to the person beside them is a small act with a large message. It says, without meaning to, that the one being discussed is not the one who decides. This happens most often to people who use a chair, a carer, an interpreter or a walking aid, and to older people in clinical rooms, and the sting is less the mistake than how routine it is.

Address whoever the matter concerns, and wait, even when someone else is quicker to answer. If you have got it wrong, simply redirecting your next question does more than an apology.