Know yourself deeply enough that belonging never requires impersonation.

Fitting in by becoming someone else works, and it costs you the thing you were trying to get. The belonging is real but it belongs to the impersonation, which means you can never quite relax into it and can never quite believe it. Knowing yourself is what makes actual belonging possible.

Notice where you are currently editing yourself to fit and how much it costs. Then try being slightly more accurate in one setting where it is relatively safe. You may lose some ground and you may find the connection improves. Either result is better than a belonging you cannot inhabit.