A conversation becomes dangerous when assumptions begin answering on another person’s behalf.

The dangerous point in a conversation is where you stop asking and start knowing: you have decided what they think, why they did it, and what they will say next. From there you are talking to your model of them, and they can feel it, and they are usually more accurate than the model.

When you catch yourself certain about someone’s motive, treat that certainty as a warning. Ask rather than assume, even if you are fairly sure. Being wrong about a motive is one of the more damaging ordinary mistakes, and the check takes one sentence.