The thing you carried everywhere may have been confidence in physical form.

Certain objects do more than their function suggests. A notebook, a particular pen, a jacket, a stone in a pocket: what they actually supplied was a bit of steadiness you could hold. There is nothing childish in that. Borrowing assurance from something outside yourself is how most people manage the parts of life that feel exposed, and the object works because it was there on the days that went well.

If something like that is still with you, keep it without apology. If you have lost it, notice what it was standing in for, and see whether you can find that steadiness in a habit instead.