You don’t become different by wanting differently; you become different by responding differently.

Wanting is cheap because it costs nothing and changes nothing about the moment it arrives. Character is made in the small gap between what happens and what you do next, and that gap is where a new version of you either shows up or does not. You can want calm sincerely for years and still be built entirely out of your reactions. The response is the vote; the wish is only the opinion.

Pick one recurring moment where your reaction disappoints you, something specific like the tone you take when you are tired or how quickly you reach for your phone. Decide in advance what you will do instead, while you are calm and it costs nothing to decide. Then treat every occurrence of that moment as the actual work rather than the interruption to it.