Most of our misfortunes are more supportable than the comments of our friends upon them.

The trouble itself is often manageable and the commentary is what makes it hard to bear. Well-meant remarks arrive with their own version of what happened, their advice, their unspoken verdict on how you handled it, and you end up defending yourself while still in the middle of the thing. That is why people go quiet about their difficulties. It is rarely pride and usually fatigue.

When someone tells you about their trouble, resist producing an analysis. Ask what would help, and if the answer is nothing, be the person who stays without offering a view.