An egotist will always speak of himself, either in praise or in censure; but a modest man ever shuns making himself the subject of his conversation.

Self-absorption is not only flattering yourself out loud. Running yourself down at length is the same manoeuvre, since either way the conversation stays on you, and the listener is left doing the work of responding. A person genuinely uninterested in the subject simply moves on to something else, which is why modesty sounds less like self-criticism and more like curiosity about other people.

Count how many of your sentences today had you as the subject, praise and complaint both. Then spend one conversation this week asking questions and following the answers, without steering it back.