Nothing is so great an instance of ill-manners as flattery.

Flattery treats the other person as someone who can be handled, which is a form of contempt wearing a friendly face. It asks them to accept a version of themselves that is not true in exchange for feeling briefly good, and it makes any later compliment from you worthless. Real courtesy assumes the other person can take the truth. Praise is only a gift when it is accurate.

Cut one habitual compliment you do not mean from this week’s conversations. Replace it with something specific you have actually noticed, which takes more attention and lands very differently.