True modesty avoids everything that is criminal; false modesty everything that is unfashionable.

Two very different things go under the same name here. One declines what is actually wrong, the other declines what would look odd, and the second gets mistaken for conscience all the time. The test is simple and uncomfortable: would you still refuse if nobody were watching, and would you still do it if everybody disapproved. Fear of standing out is not a moral position.

Take something you have been avoiding and work out which kind of avoidance it was. If the only problem is that it is unfashionable, go ahead and do it this week.