The brave only know how to forgive.

Forgiveness gets mistaken for softness when it is closer to nerve. Holding a grudge is the safer position: you stay right, you stay guarded, and you never have to risk being hurt by that person again. Letting it go means giving up the protection the grievance provides, and doing it without a guarantee.

If there is someone you have not forgiven, ask what the grudge is keeping you safe from. Sometimes the honest answer is that you are not ready, and that is allowed. When you are, the move is usually small: a reply sent, a subject dropped.