Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes and pompous in the grave.

Human beings insist on dignity even where it can do them no practical good. The care taken over burial, the ceremony, the stone with a name on it, serve nobody who can appreciate them, and people go on doing it anyway. That instinct is not vanity so much as a refusal to let a life pass without being marked.

If you have a loss to mark, let the marking be as elaborate or as plain as you actually want, not as others expect. And for the living, the same instinct is available now. Say the thing aloud while it can still be heard.