The best rules to form a young man are to talk little, to hear much, to reflect alone upon what has passed in company, to distrust one’s own opinions, and value others that deserve it.

Four habits, taken together, do most of the work of forming judgement: saying less than you could, listening more than feels necessary, going over afterwards what actually happened, and holding your own opinions loosely enough to be corrected. All of them run against the instinct to perform, which is why so few people manage them. The reflecting alone is the part most often skipped and the part that does the most.

After your next meeting or difficult conversation, spend five minutes alone with it. What did you miss, who was right, what would you say differently. That five minutes is worth more than the hour itself.