There is no restraining men’s tongues or pens when charged with a little vanity.

Once someone’s pride is involved, they will talk, and nothing you do will stop them. Vanity needs an audience the way a fire needs air, so the person who feels slighted, or clever, or overlooked will find a way to say their piece regardless of the consequences. Arguing with it feeds it; asking for silence guarantees the opposite. The only thing you control is whether you supply the material.

When you know something is going to be repeated, decide what you are willing to have travel. Say less to the people who need to be heard, and stop planning around a discretion that was never going to hold.