Silence is a source of great strength.

Not answering is an option people forget they have. The pause before you reply, the refusal to fill an awkward gap, the decision to let an accusation sit unanswered: each of these keeps something in your possession that speaking would have given away. Talking is how most of us discharge discomfort, and discharging it is precisely what hands the other person the initiative. Quiet also leaves room for what you actually think to arrive.

In the next tense conversation, count to three before responding. Notice what fills the space, and notice how often the thing you would have said in the first second was not your best line.