Competence is earned control over problems that once controlled your emotions.

A problem controls your emotions when you cannot do anything about it. Competence changes the relationship, because a situation you can act on produces focus rather than distress, and the same event that once felt overwhelming becomes a task. The control is real and it is earned.

Look at what reliably upsets you. Ask what you would need to know to handle it instead. Learning is often the shortest route to emotional steadiness in a specific area.