What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.

Holding back from harm is simpler than guessing at kindness. You may not always know what someone else would welcome, but you know very well what you would hate: being talked over, gossiped about, kept waiting without a word. That knowledge is reliable because it comes from your own experience. It also avoids a subtler mistake, which is doing to others whatever you happen to like and assuming they like it too.

Make a short list of the three things that sting most when done to you. Check honestly whether any of them has slipped into how you treat the people closest to you.