You cannot outsource your dignity and expect others to guard it carefully.

Handing your sense of worth to other people means giving them something they cannot look after, even if they mean well. They have their own moods, their own bad days, their own limited attention, and they will drop it without noticing. Then the failure feels like proof about you, when really it is just what happens to anything left with someone who was never able to hold it.

Notice where your steadiness is currently stored outside you, in a role, a relationship, a stream of small approvals. Bring one piece of it back by choosing something you value regardless of the response it gets. You can still enjoy other people’s regard, but it works better as a bonus than as a foundation.