The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.

Victories won by force have to be held by force, and they tend to leave resentment that waits for its moment. What is achieved through agreement, reconciliation and patient cooperation has no defeated side nursing a grievance, which is why it lasts. Nothing in that diminishes what it cost anyone who has had to fight, often precisely so that peace could follow.

The same pattern runs through ordinary life. In an argument with someone you will still know next year, ask whether you want to win the exchange or be done with the conflict. The first can be won by pressure. The second usually has to be built together.