The pain was real, but so is the person who remained after it.

It is possible to hold both facts at once: that what happened genuinely hurt, and that you are still here afterwards. People tend to insist on one and dismiss the other, either minimising the pain or letting it be the only true thing. Both are real. The person who remained is as much a fact as the damage.

When you look back, try to give equal weight to both halves. Name honestly what it cost, and name what you did and who you are now. Neither one cancels the other out, and you do not have to choose.