Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.

Controlling other people is a skill that depends on them, which makes it borrowed and reversible. Governing your own reactions depends on nothing outside you, and nobody can withdraw it by changing their mind about you. That is the whole distinction: one requires a hold over somebody, the other requires practice.

The practice itself is unremarkable. Notice one reaction you have on a loop, the sharp reply, the second drink, the phone reached for automatically, and put a five-second gap in front of it. The gap is where the choice lives, and it widens with repetition.