This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver.

Giving is easier than knowing when to stop. Constant help can quietly keep someone dependent, or keep you necessary, and withholding it at the right moment takes more love than another rescue would. Staying modest about what you hand over is the second half, since generosity that expects gratitude is really a bill.

If you are the person everyone leans on, look at one situation where your help has stopped helping. Try letting them handle it while you stay nearby. Notice how much of your discomfort is about them and how much is about your own place in the story.