Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain’t so wicked as their neighbors.

There is a kind of self-examination that is really a comparison in disguise. You look at your own conduct, find someone worse, and feel the relief of having passed. Nothing has actually changed except your standing in a contest no one else entered. An honest reckoning has no other person in it.

When you catch yourself measuring against someone who behaved badly, set them aside and look again. Ask what you would want to have done, not what you managed to avoid. The comparison feels good, and that good feeling is the sign it is not working.