Our first and last love is self-love.

Underneath most of what you want is a quiet concern for your own wellbeing, and it is there at the start and still there at the end. That is not a character flaw to be scrubbed out. It becomes a problem only when it goes unadmitted, when you dress an ordinary preference up as a principle and expect other people to respect it.

When your next strong opinion arrives, ask plainly what it would get you. Naming the self-interest usually shrinks it to a reasonable size and leaves room for someone else’s. Where the answer is simply that you want something, say so as a want rather than a verdict.