Rejoicing in our joy, not suffering over our suffering, makes someone a friend.

Sympathy is easier than it looks. Another person’s trouble sits safely below your own worry, and comfort costs little to give. Gladness at their good fortune is harder, because it asks you to sit with the gap between their luck and yours and still want them to keep it. The ones who can do that are the ones worth keeping.

Think back to the last good news you had and who sounded genuinely pleased. Tell that person the next thing that goes well for you. And when someone’s news lands badly in you, offer the congratulations anyway and let the feeling catch up.