To believe in God is impossible. Not to believe in Him is absurd.

Some questions refuse to settle in either direction. Belief asks you to hold something you cannot verify, and denial asks you to be equally certain about a thing nobody can see the edges of. That gap is uncomfortable, so most people pick a side and stop looking. The honest position may be the one that keeps both difficulties in view rather than trading one for the other.

Notice where you have closed a question mostly because the openness was tiring. You do not have to resolve it this week. See what changes if you let the largest questions stay open, and attend to how you live while they are.